What's In Store For 2012: A Change of Heart and A Different Mindset!

I have noticed within the last few years that this time of the year has been the time of the year where I begin to regret those things that I should have done, but did not do, or the things that I should not have done, but did anyway. I also think of everything that I am grateful for. I know I am not the only one that does this, but this year it seemed different. I normally keep my opinions about how commercialized I think Christmas is, but this year, it seemed that not only did I give my opinions about how commercialized I think Christmas is, but it seems that I have boycotted Christmas and everything of the sort from the get go. The day after Thanksgiving, the last thing I wanted to hear was Christmas music, a week later, I felt the same way, almost a month later, not as bad, but I think I have only listen to a total of 30 minutes of Christmas music, most of that being from the Christmas production at my church.

I have been called Scrooge, which in my defense I have never watched “A Christmas Carol” so I did not necessarily know why I was being called an old guy from a Christmas movie that I only heard about, never seen. It seems that this year, I just wanted Christmas to just come and go. When people asked, “Why?” I would simply state, “The sooner Christmas is over, the sooner I could be surfing a wave and visiting family in Hawaii.” And as much as that is true, that was only half the reason why I wanted it. The other half is, to be completely candid, because I want the fake happiness of everyone's “It's Christmas time, so we are obligated to be happy, and count our blessings” mentality and attitude of the season to go. I am not saying that I have never done it, but I guess I was just done pretending. In the past, Christmas has just been another day for me and my family. I did a lot of sleeping. Every Christmas seems to be different for me. So I guess a little part of me is a Christmas Scrooge.

When it comes to skits, monologues, etc, that are pretty emotional, that you need a box of tissues for, I typically am that person who does not cry. Well, during my church's Christmas production this year, there was a monologue in particular that made me cry. The monologue was called, “A Journal of a Mad Christmas Mama.” It was done by the female youth leader that I serve with and her six year old son. After the humor of it all, there was a line that I could not hold back my tears to. The kid had chipped the baby Jesus in the manger scene, and it meant a lot to his mom. So in a letter to Santa, he said, “If it's alright with you, could I trade my batman hovercraft with the glow in the dark headlights for a new baby Jesus? Then Mom could have a happy Christmas. Thank you!" It made me realize that this time of the year is so much more than all of the commercialized stuff that we see. I guess I realized it, but never thought about it like that before.

I will quote one Christmas song, from Relient K, it states, “I celebrate the day that You were born to die, so I could one day pray for You to save my life.” After hearing that line from the monologue and knowing that this kid really would ask for that. Looking at the selflessness of a child who would give up something he really wanted it made me think about how that why we celebrate Christmas because God's only begotten Son was selfless enough to give up 33 years of His life to give His life so that one day, we will be up in Heaven with Him, spending eternity together. And if you think about it God is our Father, so that makes Jesus our Big Brother. So that means our Big Brother was selfless enough to give up His life.

So do I really hate Christmas? No. Do I really not like Christmas? Not necessarily. I love the reason why the church celebrates Christmas. But the reality of it all, the only part where the Christmas Scrooge is in me, is when we spend a month focused on some fat guy who supposedly goes around the world in one night giving gifts to all the children. That is not bad, but it is not reality either. Another part of where the Christmas Scrooge is in me is when the only time people volunteer is at food banks, soup kitchens, etc, is around the holidays, where are they the rest of the time? I have volunteered at a food bank before, but it was in the middle of May and it had nothing to do with clearing my conscience about anything. It was all out of the heart.

The Scrooge in me will slowly subside, my opinions will slowly cease, that I can promise. But my heart and my giving will be there year around. That is what is in store for 2012 – a change of heart and a different mindset.

One Year. One Continuous Roller Coaster Ride. Still Alive. Finally Loving Life. Here's to Another Successful Year.

So my birthday is tomorrow! Yay, I think? This past year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride of emotions. This time last year, I was in complete fear of starting college, now I'm in complete awe that I'm three semesters in and I'm only looking forward to boosting my GPA from where it's at now to an even higher GPA by the time I transfer. I'm blessed with the year I just lived - I wouldn't trade it for the world. The people I met are absolutely incredible. The way some people touched my life in the past year are absolutely amazing and inspiring. The situations that I've encountered, though some of them were extremely unpleasant, the good times over the past year override the with so much more joy.

There were many times over the last year where I thought it was my last day on Earth, yes I was THAT over dramatic. There were times where I just wanted the day to end because I knew a new day was on the horizon or my meeting with Christ was on that same horizon. Dramatic, I know.

It's interesting on how much life changes in just one year, you know like 365 days. It's refreshing to know that people love me enough to make a difference and an impact on my life. Those are the same people who encourage you to fight longer, strive harder, dream bigger, and chase those dreams longer. Those people know who they are, thank you! Thank you for enduring my first year of college plus summer school. Thank you for encouraging me when I needed it the most. Thank you for believing in me even when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you for not giving up on me and walking out of my life when I deserved it the most. Thank you for directing me back to the Word of God when I was falling short. You&Me? Yeah, we've done a heck of a lot of growing in the past year.

As I sit here on my couch in my room, it's 10:48pm, July 25, 2011, with Boyce Avenue playing softly in the background, listening to my phone buzz because of Facebook alerts, and watching the start of the birthday comments on Facebook come in, I'm in awe that despite all of the situations that I've put some of you through this past year, you still love me. I'm blessed to say that you are those friends that love me through anything.

I don't know where this next year will take me, I can only imagine into a deeper depth than what I'm already in now. I know it'll be another year of changes, learning, and loving. Though my birthday now is just another day to me, nothing really special, because of all of your love and support it will be.

As this next year unfolds into play, I'm for the first time genuinely happy and at peace with where everything is going. Will there be times where I'm scared, intimidated, terrified, nervous, etc? You know it, but after a year like this past one I know I can do it.

Here's to another year of changes, learning, loving, and adventures.

What I've leaned. What I am taking away.

So as I wrap up yet another successful educating semester, I am reminded of what I've learned and what I am taking away from it.

Yes, I did learn a lot academic wise, but I am actually referring to what I learned outside of school and what I am taking away from that.

This semester started off with a launch from a Chi Alpha conference and I had that invincibility feeling of being able to conquer the world. This semester was much different than last. Easier, but not as easy as I would've liked it to be.

What I Have Learned:

I have learned a lot this semester about who I really am in Him and how much more growing up I need to do. I thought I had a lot of things figured out, but then I realized how ignorant I was. I began this semester thinking, "Here we go, another semester, let's get motivated to get four more C's." However, I was caught up short on the statement. I felt the Spirit of the Lord on the inside of me saying, "Don't you think you can do better than that?" I thought about it for a minute and then I realized that I could. So then I set out on a journey that I was going to conquer. As the semester went on, I managed to do just what I was trying to conquer. With all of this my personal devotion time has been intensified as well. I normally set just 30 minutes a day. 15 of it in worship with the following 15 in the Word in complete silence. I normally do this in the beginning of my day. To start it off right. However, it seems that my normal 30 minute devotions have turned into 90 minute devotions. Sometimes it will be 30 minutes in the morning and 60 minutes in the evening. And the 60 minutes in the evening have been the Lord showing me how who I am in Him and how I should see myself. Basically breakthrough. I've leaned that He is the only One who can truly understand me and everything that I go through.

What I Am Taking Away:

I have learned a lot, but I am taking away something extremely valuable. That my worth and value to Him is way more important than my worth and value to someone in this world. Instead of asking Him to forgive me 1,000 times, I'm going to thank Him 1,000 times for already forgiving me. He's my Daddy, my Papa, and the best One ever. I owe my life to Him because He gave a life for me. The life of His Son and with that I am eternally grateful.

"No matter what you go through, your value never changes with God." -Pastor Corrine Cardoza

What Doesn't Kill You, Really Only Makes You Stronger.

A typical SoCal trip wouldn’t be the same without being at a movie theater at least once.  On Saturday, I went to the movie theater with my daddy, uncle, and two cousins to watch Soul Surfer. So here’s the thing, I don’t watch much television, I don’t have a lot of time and there’s nothing really good on, mainly because I live in a house with local channels only, no cable. So I went into this movie with no idea what to expect; I left the movie with a changed perspective, especially on what Philippians 4:13 really means.

We all know what Philippians 4:13 says: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” –New Living Translation

The movie is about the incredible true story of Bethany Hamilton, the now professional surfer who grew up in Hawaii and at the age of 13 lost her arm. Though a month after the attack, she returned back to the water. She wasn’t going to let anyone tell her that she couldn’t do anything, she was determined to continue surfing because she loved it.

Have you ever thought about it? Do you know how many times we give up something we love just because the process of getting there didn’t necessarily turn out the way we originally planned it to? This movie brought that to my attention. There are times we give up on our dreams because something goes wrong in the process, do you realize how wrong that is?

In the Good News Translation Jeremiah 29:11 says: “I alone know the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for.”

So here’s a little food for thought… If you were to continue to follow your dreams and only care about what the Lord says about you, don’t you think you’ll live a happier and healthier life? Isn’t He the One who put it in your heart in the first place? So why would you care what someone of this world says? Just a thought.

Philippians 4:13; Jeremiah 29:11

My Papa God has definitely turned my world upside down, in a good way!

Where do I even begin?

A lot has been stirring in my heart lately. I had to write a paper for my English writing class about how other people see me and how I see myself. So for the past week, I've been condensing my caffeine and sugar intake and have been ramping up running, weight lifting, and bike riding along with intaking a lot of fruit and vegetables. A lot of people would call that intensive, however, it has been the most incredible and life changing change that I've ever made in my life. Yeah I'm experiencing muscle pain right now, but it's totally worth it when I am done with a work out and feel totally energized and like I can conquer the world.

My personal devotional/personal worship time has gotten intensive as well. That started about 2 weeks ago after a one-on-one discipleship time I had with the person who is discipling me. I had brought up about at the time for the last few weeks how people have been bugging me about my hat and from there it took an unexpected turn. I think at the time I finally realized that the way I was (and still kind of am) hiding under my hat was somewhat depressing. From that day, I checked out for two and a half days and then on that Wednesday night, I finally broke down in tears. Questioning myself, questioning the way my life is, and questioning if I was making the right decisions at the right time.

The next day it came to me, my insecurity was taking control of my life more so than I wanted it to. So I started googling how to build up my self-esteem. Then I started praying and digging into my Bible more than ever before. It seemed that every time I had a spare moment I had my phone out and was in my YouVersion Bible app. The Lord brought me to this scripture:

"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!

Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."

-Psalm 139:14 (New Living Translation)

My Papa God has definitely turned my world upside down, in a good way!

So this past Saturday I decided to put my flesh under basically and start working out and eating healthier. I knew what this meant, I had to give up the energy drinks and more than 2 cups of coffee. And yesterday, I realized that I have so much more energy than I actually gave myself credit for. I went on a 3 mile run before church and though my legs were jello, I had more energy than ever before and the last time I had any caffeine was at 11:30 yesterday morning when I was finishing my coffee from my travel cup at school. (and apparently my face was glowing as well.) I never realized how much just one work out can turn a bad day into a good one, I seem to forget about the world and my circumstances when it's just me, my iPod, the wind in my face, and my Papa God for 2-3 miles.

So as I prepare for a fun and adventurous yet tiring and long weekend at the Power Balance Pavilion with the Souled Out Youth Group for Acquire the Fire, I know that God is going to do a lot in everyone that is attending's heart and to be honest, I am beyond stoked!

Psalms 139:14

The Devotion Time That Change The Way That I Look at People.

I was in my devotions this morning on my way to school on light rail and I came across the verse Matthew 22:39 where Jesus says, A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ And if only we all lived by that, could you imagine how much of a better place this might be. Hang in there with me as I begin to rant:

We've all heard that saying, "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me." But especially in the world today, do we realize how much of a lie that is? Words have so much of an impact on our lives. They can encourage us or words can really demolish us. So much bullying is going on in the schools today, just because of words. I read this Facebook status that was against bullying that backs my point up: 

"The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. Put this as your status if you're AGAINST bullying."

I will admit, in middle school, I was a bully, and I’m not proud of it. To go from being bullied in elementary school to being the bully in middle school, it’s not a cool thing. I regret those moments of picking up a small innocent sixth grader and throwing them in a trash can or pushing them up against a wall, to show how tough I really wasn’t. Some people have a hard time picturing me being a bully, but it happened and once again I’m not proud of it.

Maybe you’re reading this and you are being bullied right now. I know the line, “It gets better.” Is used by many political figures and celebrities that have spoken out about this subject. And I’m here to say it does. When the storms of life come, keep holding onto the boat of life, because eventually the storms will have to subside, and you’ll make it safely to the harbor. You won’t be a wave crashed upon the shore. You’ll be safely arriving at the harbor. Don’t give up hope because it surely indeed gets better. Always remember this, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Maybe you’re on the other side of the bullying equation, meaning you are the bully, I know what it’s like to be one. Not saying that I’m taking pride in that, but I am saying, being the one causing harm on someone else, is never cool. You’re not cool when you’re the reason why people go home and think about doing something harmful to themselves or even worse taking their own life. I was listening to a motivational speaker named John Maxwell once, and one of the things he said was, “Hurting people, hurt people.” I encourage you this, if you’re hurting someone else because you are hurting, it also gets better only if you reach out for help.

For the bystanders in this horrible equation, Proverbs 31:8 says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.” That verse perfectly states what you should do. Help the person that you normally wouldn’t have helped.

I appreciate and commend you for hanging in there with this ridiculously long rant that I just went on, but it has been definitely on my mind a lot today. Let’s change the atmosphere in the schools. Whether it’s middle or high school or even college or yes even the workplace. It’s time to be kind to one another and change the world for the good.

Matthew 22:39; Proverbs 31:8

Don't Give Up, There is Victory!

So I am 6 weeks into my second semester of my freshman year of college and for the first few weeks of this semester, it wasn't looking up like I thought it would. Especially in my English Reading 10 class, the professor is far beyond not lenient in every area, well at least she was for the first five weeks. I'll be the first to acknowledge that I am stubborn. It just rubs me the wrong way if I start something and don't eventually finish it. I was not going to drop this class unless my livelihood depended on it and even then it would just annoy me, I don't like quitting. It's just not worth it to me. Anyway, the first five weeks of this class were absolutely brutal. For the first three, the professor just sucked the life out of me, even with two more classes to go, I was very bitter. I hated this class with an absolute passion.

Chi Alpha this semester at Sac City just doesn't fit into my schedule because I have a class during it, well one day my class got out early, just in time to go that day. I went and after the Bible Study I was sitting talking with one of the interns there, telling him about this professor and how much I can't stand her belittlement and her sucking the life out of me. He gave probably the best advice about the situation:

You are smarter than this professor knows thinks that you are. Prove her wrong. Work and study hard. She'll eventually realize that she belittling and picking on the wrong student.

That was in like three weeks ago, so I did. There were many times that I wanted to give up, but my stubborn ways and that advice kept me going. Personal issues came up in the professors life and she was constantly late, and it annoyed the heck out of me. If we couldn't be late, why should we? Well to make a long story short, today, after 5 weeks of frustration, after five weeks of praying, "God, it's getting somewhat easier, but is it really all worth it?" Today, the professor showed up on time, however most of the class wasn't prepared for today. I could see the frustration arising from the professor. I was not one of those people who was not prepared, I was probably more prepared than anyone else in the class. So she'd ask a question and I'd very hesitantly raise my hand and answer the question correctly. You could see the amazement in the professors eyes. As I was leaving class today, the professor said this to me, "Thank you for coming so prepared, I'm glad I now know that what I am teaching is sinking in someones head. Have a great weekend."

You know that epic feeling you get when you finally did something right or finally got it into someones head that you may have two learning disabilities and maybe a little slow most of the time, but you aren't dumb? I think I've officially experienced that for the first time today.

So let me conclude this post with some advice, even when life gets tough, don't give up. You are placed where you are for a reason. I heard this line from someone, "If you're going through a tunnel of hell, don't stop, keep advancing forward because eventually you will have to get to the end of that tunnel."

Keep you're head up, don't give up! That's what I have for you today.

Philippians 4:13

If you don't love the One who loved you before you even knew how love, is it really true love?

I refuse to be not original, so I am not going to say, Happy Valentines Day! I'm sorry, but I just don't have it in me. I personally think that this day was invented for Hallmark to make money. However, that's my personal opinion. Why do we need a day devoted to love, when we should be living a life of love? Okay maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit of bitterness, maybe I'm a bit too opinionated. But at the same time, please don't be stubborn and admit, I have a little bit of truth behind what I am saying. Yeah Jesus is the ultimate and most incredible Valentine, I'm not saying He's not. What I am saying is that this world take Valentine's day a little too seriously. Let me phrase this question: If you only by the love of your life, chocolate, flowers, etc on Valentines day and not any other day to surprise them, are you just going through the motions of love? My mom and stepdad surprise each other on pretty much a daily basis with gifts. My stepdad buys flowers for my mom 99.99% of the time he goes to Costco. Not saying that your love for that special person is fake, if you do only buy them chocolate, flowers, and etc on this day. Here's what I am saying, the world sometimes takes love and basically sugar coats it to be less than it really is.

My prayer on a daily basis since the beginning of this chaotic second semester has this:

"Lord, let this be my prayer. That I live a life of love because You first loved me with this love that is so unconditional. That I live a life of kindness because You first were kind to me. That I live a life of patience because You are paitent with me even when I am undeserving. That I live a life of boldness to impact this world and bring them with me to Your kingdom. That I will live a life fully serving You. In Your Name I pray, Amen!"

Our Papa God first loved us before the foundations of the world, so maybe you're like me today, single. God is there to be your Valentine, this post was nothing saying that He wasn't. This post was supposed to be encouraging, sorry if it wasn't. I just am done with the sterotypical "holiday" when that is the only time that people show love truly. My only prayer is that maybe you can see my heart. I am not against Valentines day or love for another human being, whether it be romantically or just because. I am all for that, in God's timing. But let me conclude this post with this, if you don't love the One who loved you before you even knew how love, is it really true love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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The Impact.

On Saturday night, I watched a movie that just about changed my life. What movie? To Save a Life. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. It's a must see. It was a Christian movie basically telling you to love your neighbor as yourself. As I was watching this movie, I reflected back to my own life, and I realized that even though I can love my neighbor as I do myself. I can take one step further and do something most people my age, wouldn't necessarily do. I take light rail to school and when I am on during the week, so are a lot of business people and I was raised if someone older than you, by at least 5 years, walks into a place where there is seating you stand up and let that person sit down. Normally I do this, but it's not with a good heart. Yesterday as God is continuing to do an incredible work in me, this older gentleman got on the light rail, and it looked like he needed to sit down. So instead of obligation, I free willingly gave up my seat. The gentleman, "You really didn't have to do that for me." Me, "Sir, I totally don't mind, another seat will open up for me." And sure enough, at the next stop, another seat did open up for me. And at the following stop, 15 more seats opened up. I'll be totally candid, I did not want to give up my seat, my feet were killing me, I just wanted to sit down, clear my head before I went home and dived into a whole lot of homework, but I felt that urging in my heart to do so.

What's my point in all of this? It's simple. The act of kindness is a funny thing. Not everyone is naturally good at this, some people have to literally work at this. So my point, what's one seat on light rail or simply one smile as you walk down the street or across your work building or school campus? What's two more seconds at Starbucks or somewhere by just saying, "Have a great day!"? You have no idea the impact on someone's life that you have. You don't know what they're going through, maybe your simple smile or the simple line coming out of your mouth of "Have a great day!" Maybe that will change someone's life. So to you, have a great day!

Mark 12:30-31

The Difference.

No words can even begin to explain what I’ve experienced in the past two weeks. It started on Friday, January 14, 2011. I spent that weekend at the Chi Alpha Winter Conference and it launched me into what already has been a tough semester. By the end of the week, I was so dry. Already? It hadn’t even been a week since the winter conference, I was already sucked dry? Say what? Luckily, we were having special services at my church to fill me back up. I was ecstatic, well for the most part. The meetings went from Saturday morning to Tuesday night. I was pretty bummed that I missed four out of the seven meetings, but what I caught was perfectly enough. From what I heard of Saturday’s woman’s meeting, I was in for a pretty epic roller coaster ride. I walked in Sunday morning, expecting to leave with what I needed. Little did I know, I would literally leave forever changed. I have never heard these two people preach, so I spent the first service observing. What I observed was people leaving the service, healed.



Note: Just literally a week before that, I saw someone walk into the winter conference on crutches and walked out carrying them because he didn’t need them anymore. You cannot tell me that there’s not a God because I’ve seen evidence that He is real and He is working.


So anyway, Monday morning came, and I walked into my English Reading 10 class and I was so ready to take on a week of school, but that particular professor of mine seems to like to suck the life out of me, make me not want to learn. I left that class half empty, which made me then want to not move forward. Monday was just not my day. A lot of tears were shed, but God was and still is doing a work in me that I cannot begin to describe. Monday finally ended and Tuesday arrived. It was a little easier, a little bit more fun. After my five hour photography class, I was in the library, in an intense study session. When I headed to church that evening, I was on empty.


What changed my life in that service though, didn’t really take place until the next night, last night if you’re wondering when, the lady ministering, Ilke Peh, came up prayed for me, I fell down, then getting up was a struggle with the position I was in, two of my younger brothers helped me up and then Ilke grabbed my wrist and said one word three times. That one word was, warrior. I can remember exactly what she said crystal clear, “Warrior, warrior, warrior. Lord, use her to be a warrior after you.” Now I’ve been called a fighter before, but never a warrior. So I decided to look up the two words to get a better feeling of what was prayed over me.


The word fighter means a person with the will, courage, determination, ability, or disposition to fight, struggle, resist, etc.

The word warrior means a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.

(Note: These are just one definition not all of them.)

Last night, I had such a beautiful “aha” moment, because I was thinking about it all day yesterday, it was bugging me. The difference between ‘warrior’ and ‘fighter’. So I looked up the words, and then I felt down in my spirit, “You are a warrior, not a fighter. Yes, you will fight for what is right, but I want you to be more of a warrior than a fighter.”


Tears streaming down my face, something that I will cherish. That I am a warrior more than a fighter. Probably the most intimate time with my Papa God that I’ve ever had. He is doing a work in me that is indescribable, uncontainable, so incredible, undeniable, and I am going to embrace each and every moment of it.

I'm pretty stoked that you read this whole thing. I commend you for that. This was ridiculously long, and you probably have other stuff you could've done in the last four minutes. So to you or someone else who have spent the last four minutes on me and what God is doing in my life, thank you. Because you certainly didn't have too.

Jeremiah 20:11

A Moment of Complete Surrender...

How did you spend your MLK holiday weekend? With friends and/or family? Maybe you slept in or if you started school this week got ready for the spring semester. I spent my 3 day holiday weekend/last 4 days of my Christmas break with my Chi Alpha family. And I was going to do an entry about the whole weekend, but that'd take me until the end of the spring semester to type it all out. (Yes, that was this thing called a joke, you can let all the laughter out.)

However, I feel like I should share an experience I encountered on Sunday morning.

I was fighting a roller coaster ride full of emotions and the enemy filling my head with useless junk, like, "You obviously love your Chi Alpha family, who you've only known since the beginning of October and some for the last month, and some you just met, more than your church family, who you've known for ten years. You're here, not at your home church, you're such a failure." See? Useless junk.

I found myself playing with the jacket tag of someone who I consider a big sister and even a little bit of a mentor during worship. (Look to the right, she's running for Miss California, like the fan page suggest it to your friends, pretty please?) Anyway, they started playing the song, How He Loves and God started to show me what He was doing in my heart, as tears ran down my face, I surrendered my life again to God, I surrendered my semester to Him, and I felt these arms around me, but no one was hugging me. The moment I surrendered and ran back to the arms of my Papa God, was the moment the peace of God fell upon me.

The semester started yesterday and I'll be completely honest, it's already been stressful. I found myself stressing over a class today and then I was brought back to the surrender moment on Sunday morning, and surrendered my life, my situation, my semester to Him. The peace wad brought back to my fists grasp.

I know for college students, the semester has either it's been back in session since the third, started this week, or starts next week, I know it can be stressful, but in the midst of all of that, I encourage you to do what a friend of mine always tells me, spend time with the Lord, seek out His promises, and stay grounded in His word. One of my many goals this semester, I encourage you guys to join me, this includes stressed out high school students as well.

Psalm 71

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A Small Solution.

I've noticed a lot recently that there's a lot of heartache and rejection in the world. I guess I've always knew it was there, but I never really thought about it until recently. Until something in my life and in my heart changed. I'm not led to share what that is yet, still sorting through a roller coaster ride of emotions at the moment.

I think the solution to all the heartache and rejection in the world is a lot more complicated than it's shown on the surface, but a few weeks ago, my pastor said it perfectly.

"I have the complete confidence in knowing that in the Father's arms, I will not be rejected or get my heart broken."

For the past week, as I stumbled across this interesting mountain that life just threw at me, I found myself needing to be in the arms of my Papa God. Crying into His chest persay. And He's the one who walked in, when it felt like the whole world walked out on me.

If I've learned anything from this interesting mountain already, it's that in the reality of it all, relying on an imperfect human being to always be there for you only results in heartache. Trying to hard to get an imperfect human beings love and attention only results in rejection. However, relying on our Papa God to always be there for you, leads to pure satisfaction and comfort and you don't have to try to hard to get our Papa God's love and attention because whether you want it or not, you've got it because He created you and longs to be with you.

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Definetly a More Confident Guitar Player and Servant of God.

Tonight, I saw a year of hard work not only pay off, but used for God's glory. As a lot of you know, I am apart of the Souled Out Youth band in my church's youth group. I've been playing for a little over a year now. We've led worship in the main sanctuary before, but there was something different about tonight. Not only we thrown a curve ball earlier this afternoon telling us we were going to play tonight in the main sanctuary, but I do believe that we were ready for what seemed like the impossible. We've been pushed out of our comfort zones a lot in the past year. I do believe that I'm a more.confident guitar player now. God has and still using us to bless His people and I'm blessed with the honor to do so. As a band we've grown and bonded and I'm honored to grow more and jam with these incredible people in the year(s) to come.

To the Souled Out Youth worship band, here's to the.start to something a whole lot bigger. Our scheduled and random jam sessions keep me on my toes. I definitely love you all...

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I'm looking forward to an exciting, opportunity, and adventure filled 2011.

Dear God,
In 2010, You've watched me start and complete an internship, graduate from high school a year early, go on a missions trip to Hollywood, California, attend City on the Hill and figure out what a sinus headache is, start college, and complete a crazy, stressed out, took on way too much first semester of college. How I made it through alive and in one piece this year, I'll never know. Thank You for allowing me to experience what I experienced this year. I am most definitely a more stronger daughter, sister, granddaughter, niece, cousin, best friend, friend, and musician now than when I was at midnight on January 1, 2010.

I'll admit there was a lot that I didn't want to go through, but You were always there to remind me that it would be an amazing outcome in the long run. Thanks for letting me have an internship with Housing Group Fund, graduate a whole year early, go on a missions trip to Hollywood, head back to City on the Hill to figure out that I need to relax and what a sinus headache, and experience what it's like to take on too much for a semester.

This year You changed me life so dramatically and I don't think I would have wanted it any other way. I'm looking forward to an exciting, opportunity and adventure filled 2011.


Signed,
-Your Daughter

2010 was most definitely life changing! I've made more friends this year than any other year, I've grown closer to some of those friends that I've probably needed to grow closer to this year. I've grown stronger and made it through alive and in once piece. Here's to a whole new year of growth! Cannot wait to share it with you!

"Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" -Charlie Brown

First semester of college? Complete. Nothing beats days of no school, homework, or having to study. But something about this particular break brings me back to the reason why we have it. We have it because of Christmas. Which if you break it down Christ means well Jesus Christ and mas means more. So the season is really about More of Christ. I am going to quote a Relient K song here that has been stuck in my head all week, "I celebrate the day You were born to die, so that one day I would pray for You to save my life." The Bible always gets me a bit sentimental, but this particular story gets me sentimental more so than any other one. With God being our Heavenly Father that would make Jesus our Big Brother, so if you stop and think about it, our Big Brother left His place up in Heaven to come down and save our lives. That's an honor in itself.
In A Charlie Brown Christmas, one of Charlie Brown's lines was, "Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?" and Linus said it perfectly, he recited Luke 2:8-14:

"8 Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9 And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. 10 Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. 11 For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12 And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger.” 13 And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying: 14 “ Glory to God in the highest,  And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!”

I probably couldn't have said it any better myself. So as nice as the Christmas gifts, gatherings, food, music, and such are. They're not the reason why we celebrate Christmas. We celebrate it because the Son of God was brave and humble enough to come down to die for us so we can spend enternity with Him and that in itself is the best gift I've ever recieved. So this is what I am giving to Jesus this Christmas and it's already what I give Him on a day-to-day basis, my life because He did in fact save it.

Merry Christmas! Here's to the best Christmas ever until next year that is!!

2010 in Review: A Year Full of Opportunities.

It's that time of the year! Freshly cut pines or artifical trees are in our living rooms. We've pulled out the beanies, hats, gloves, scarves, and winter jackets. Hot chocolate, tea, apple cider, and coffee are slipping down our throats. Christmas music is blasting through our stereos. Stores are filled with people buying gifts for loved ones and friends. College students are cramming for and taking finals. The end of the fall semester is in arm length distance. Despite the stress, this is truly the most wonderful time of the year. Putting all of the stress of preperations of the holidays and college students cramming for finals aside, if you go back to the reality of why we celebrate this season. To celebrate the One who was born to die, so that one day we could pray that He could save our lives. I am so greatful for that One who was born to die, so that one day in the privacy of my room at the age of 12, he could save my life. This year has been full of many opportunities. So as I await for my next class, I'll share with you this Year in Review.

When we entered into 2010, I was struggling to finish high school and there were many times where I didn't think I'd make it through. The big highlights of this year are: the internship with Housing Group Fund, Graduation day, going on my first missions trip to Hollywood, California, once again attending City on the Hill, and starting a new life at Sacramento City College.

The internship with Housing Group Fund. The night before I was presented with this internship, God and I were having a conversation. Well actually, I think I was doing most of the talking. I remember saying, "I just need You to be my Daddy. I don't even know after all this time and after screwing up so much if you can even hear me. But please, Daddy, I need You!" The night of this conversation was on April 26, 2010. The next day an opportunity to intern at Housing Group Fund was presented to me by my mom. I started April 28, 2010. Just in the past 7.5 months, I have learned so much. They have given me so much office experience and have watched me basically grow up from then until now. I've seen hope of home ownership put back on people's faces. I have seen tears of absolute joy roll down people's faces because Housing Group Fund gave them a second chance. It's a bitter sweet feeling having tomorrow (December 15th) be my last day as their intern. I shared a lot of my growing up memories with them. It has been such a complete honor being there intern.

Graduation day. It's such a blur to me now, it feels like it happened 7 years ago, but it was only 7 months. On May 21, 2010 - I recieved that high school diploma. The day consisted of a rehersal, getting my hair done, running last minute errands, getting ready, and graduation. I remember sitting up that ever so hot stage with 32 other people for an ever so long time feeling ever so invincible. The joke of the week in my house was we wouldn't cry when we got up on that stage to give me my diploma. We can definetly can say that it backfired, we most definetly cried because we knew how far I've come. It was a good day in our family.

Missions trip to Hollywood/City on the Hill 2010 - Since they're blog entries about this below, I'll summerize. Hollywood was eye-opening, life changing, and I do believe a chunk of my heart is still there. The people that I met, the people who I saw, my heart broke. Most definetly made me feel so greatful for what I have. City on the Hill 2010 definetly life changing. Taught me not to plan something out for 6 months and expect it all to fall into place. But God taught me how to lean on Him not only when things are bad, but when things are good. Going to God only when your life falls apart was definetly what I did a lot of this year. Then it brought me to a sinus headache that brought me to my knees and said, "Okay God, You are my Daddy. Come please, just come and save me once again." That experience taught me that you can only give so much before you are completely empty.

A brand new life at Sacramento City College. I have to be honest, City College is a whole new world. Most definetly not what I was expecting. I will admit, I did take on too much this semester, never again will I take over 13 units unless I absolutely have to and even then I'll fight it. But it felt like mid semester, everything fell into place. God opened a door for me. After two weeks of saying, "God, I love my youth group, but I need something more. I am most definetly tired of being called a high schooler, considering the fact that I worked so hard to get that title off of my belt." After two weeks of praying, God opened the door for Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship to walk into my life. I walked into my first Bible study on October 5th and was very hesitant on how I felt on the whole deal. However by the end of that first Bible study, I have never felt more like family in my life.

God has opened so many doors and opportunities for me since I graduated from high school and started college. Now as I am wrapping up my first semester of college, I am more prepared to take on the world, one step at a time. If you were to tell me this time last year or this time 6 months ago, or even on my graduation day that I would have grown this much, I don't think I'd believe you! In 2011, I am ready for more opportunities to come. Here's to passes all of our finals(aimed to my fellow college students readers); a great holiday season; and brand new year full of opportunities.

From me to you; Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!

Putting First Things First.

Here I am.

Currently 2:38pm when starting this. Putting off a business law paper and art final.

Almost done with my first semester of college. It's going to be a stressful, intensive, bitter sweet next two weeks. This semester has been a culture shock, interesting, painful, and amazing. It has definetly been full of mixed emotions.

As I wrap up this semester, one thing comes to mind, and one thing only. That one thing is, if I've learned anything from this semester, something that I will hold on forever, it would be that my Papa God and family comes first.

That leads me into this next bit. If I've learned one thing from this semester, it would be that my Papa God and my family comes first. If I've got one thing to regret from this semester, it would be that I put other things before my Papa God and family. If I were to take this semester back to change it and do it all over again, I'd put my Papa God and my family before everything else in the world.

What do I mean by that? I mean my school, my internship, my relationship with any boy is not first priority. What do I mean by family? Of course I definetly mean my immediate family. But I also mean my church and Chi Alpha family.

My immediate family has been there since the day I was born. My church family has been there since October 31, 2000. And my Chi Alpha family has been there for me since October 5, 2010.

They've been the best immediate and extended family that anyone could ever ask for. So do I regret putting other stuff before my Papa God and family? Oh absolutely! Would I go back in time to change it? Maybe. Depending on what day you ask me.

So to my Papa God and my family, (immediate and extended) I love you all so so much! I wouldn't trade you for the world. Thanks for all that you do for me.

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Yes, this is another blog entry about being thankful. How could I not be thankful?

My youth group and I rocked the sanctuary of our church tonight. We just took over service tonight. From Worship to the Word to the Rejoicing time. At the end of two of the most amazing youth leaders sharing the Word of God to the congregation they broke of into twos and the worship team got back up and played the bridge of the song "Came To Rescue Me" and as I looked out into the sanctuary, watching everyone in the congregation get blessed, I couldn't help, but think how blessed and thankful I am to be apart of a Church Body who really listens and is sensitive to the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit reminded me tonight of how thankful this year I really am. First off, I'd like to say that there is a God and He does love us, He does care, and He certainly answers prayer! I remember the day, I remember the time, I remember what I was doing, and yes I even remember what I was wearing. It was Labor day, it was about 4pm, I was playing my guitar, I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. I remember saying, "God, I love the youth group you put me in, but I need something more. I need people to relate too, I need people who understand exactly what I'm feeling because they are feeling similar feelings. I need a college group fix. Could you meet me where I am at? I know you can, you've done it before, could you do it again?" A few weeks later at school, a young man by the name of Nick pulled me in. I met him and this young woman named Claire. From that day on, I believed that God could meet you wherever you were at and gives you everything you pray for plus more. I am thankful for my Chi Alpha family. I am thankful for my TLC family. I am thankful for my family in general. I am thankful for a God with unconditional love. I am thankful for life, yeah it's not easy, but I am thankful for it.

In Honor of Veterans Day!

Today upon the craziness of the downhill slope to the end of my first semester of my freshman year of college, I take this time to honor all of the men and women serving throughout the world for our country. To my father Guy Oshiro, who served in the Air Force Reserves before I was born, to my youth leader James "Jim" Kenney, who served in the Navy, to my pastor's youngest son Joseph Cardoza, who just got done serving in the Air Force, thank you for your time. To my other youth leader's youngest stepson Franko Da Re and to my first childhood best friend Cody Lemere, who are currently serving in the Army and to a young man who I once did Venturing with Greg Bringedahl, who is currently serving in the Air Force, my thoughts and prayers are with you as you serve and represent us as a country, I am extremely proud of you all.
As I sit here in the library of my school, really thinking about who the three that I just mentioned who are currently serving our country in the Army and Air Force, it brings me back to an entry that I did not even a year ago in "The High School Years" part of my blog entitled, "They Didn't Have To Do It" (It was actually what prompted me to write this entry after stumbling acrossed it.) I am going to repeat it here, but it'll be a little more updated, if you want my original entry, please visit my "The High School Years" part of my blog, it's the last entry in the December part of it:

I know a few people who are currently serving in an Armed Force serving for our beautiful country and it got me thinking about who they really really are. Half boy and half man. Yes they are between the ages of 18-20 years old, so they are legally considered an adult. The average age of the military man is between the ages of 18-20 years. Referring to them as one man:
He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country. He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer. He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because well he just graduated from boot camp. This wasn't his first choice, but it is what he's doing now. Yes he's not on the frontlines of Iraq, but his job is still important to our country.
As we continue on through this beautiful Veterans day, why don't we take the time to think about, pray for, and maybe even thank a man or even a woman that we know or maybe even don't know for their service to fight for our freedom, to be that country that is the land of the free and the home of the brave, and to be proud to be an American.
So if you are reading this and you are currently serving or have already served for this country, whether I know you or not, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You guys amaze me in ways that words cannot ever describe. Thank you for leaving your loved ones, friends, and life back from wherever you're from to go to a whole new place and serve our country. Thank you for risking your life, thank you for all that you do, I am enternally greatful for you all!

A video that says it all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTb6qdPu8JE

So Much To Be Thankful For This Year.

With Thanksgiving upon us, I want to take a moment or so to reflect about what I am truly thankful for. I will admit that this year has been tough for me and a lot of changes have been and are still happening, but for this blog entry I am putting those things aside. There are so many things to be thankful for this year. Like every year, I am thankful to have a roof over my head, clean clothes on my back, prepared food on the table everyday, and of course the love of my family and friends, and the unconditional love of my Heavenly Father. A lot has happened in my life this year and there's still more to happen in my life as we wrap up this year. I've done things this year that I have never done in my entire life. One thing happened to me this year that was a milestone of 13 years of hard work. On May 21st, I graduated from high school and am now in college. I went on my first missions trip this year to Hollywood, California. I've fixed many relationships this and by meeting so many new people I have made so many new ones. I'm interning at this amazing company, I have so much to be thankful for this year. I look past the tests and trials, I look past all the things that have gone wrong this year. I've grown so much as a person and so much as a musician. Like I said there is so much to be thankful for this year.
Now here's a question for you, what are you thankful for this year?