A lot has been stirring in my heart lately. I had to write a paper for my English writing class about how other people see me and how I see myself. So for the past week, I've been condensing my caffeine and sugar intake and have been ramping up running, weight lifting, and bike riding along with intaking a lot of fruit and vegetables. A lot of people would call that intensive, however, it has been the most incredible and life changing change that I've ever made in my life. Yeah I'm experiencing muscle pain right now, but it's totally worth it when I am done with a work out and feel totally energized and like I can conquer the world.
My personal devotional/personal worship time has gotten intensive as well. That started about 2 weeks ago after a one-on-one discipleship time I had with the person who is discipling me. I had brought up about at the time for the last few weeks how people have been bugging me about my hat and from there it took an unexpected turn. I think at the time I finally realized that the way I was (and still kind of am) hiding under my hat was somewhat depressing. From that day, I checked out for two and a half days and then on that Wednesday night, I finally broke down in tears. Questioning myself, questioning the way my life is, and questioning if I was making the right decisions at the right time.
The next day it came to me, my insecurity was taking control of my life more so than I wanted it to. So I started googling how to build up my self-esteem. Then I started praying and digging into my Bible more than ever before. It seemed that every time I had a spare moment I had my phone out and was in my YouVersion Bible app. The Lord brought me to this scripture:
"Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it."
-Psalm 139:14 (New Living Translation)
My Papa God has definitely turned my world upside down, in a good way!
So this past Saturday I decided to put my flesh under basically and start working out and eating healthier. I knew what this meant, I had to give up the energy drinks and more than 2 cups of coffee. And yesterday, I realized that I have so much more energy than I actually gave myself credit for. I went on a 3 mile run before church and though my legs were jello, I had more energy than ever before and the last time I had any caffeine was at 11:30 yesterday morning when I was finishing my coffee from my travel cup at school. (and apparently my face was glowing as well.) I never realized how much just one work out can turn a bad day into a good one, I seem to forget about the world and my circumstances when it's just me, my iPod, the wind in my face, and my Papa God for 2-3 miles.
So as I prepare for a fun and adventurous yet tiring and long weekend at the Power Balance Pavilion with the Souled Out Youth Group for Acquire the Fire, I know that God is going to do a lot in everyone that is attending's heart and to be honest, I am beyond stoked!
Psalms 139:14
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