The Devotion Time That Change The Way That I Look at People.

I was in my devotions this morning on my way to school on light rail and I came across the verse Matthew 22:39 where Jesus says, A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ And if only we all lived by that, could you imagine how much of a better place this might be. Hang in there with me as I begin to rant:

We've all heard that saying, "Sticks and stones may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me." But especially in the world today, do we realize how much of a lie that is? Words have so much of an impact on our lives. They can encourage us or words can really demolish us. So much bullying is going on in the schools today, just because of words. I read this Facebook status that was against bullying that backs my point up: 

"The Girl you just called fat? She has been starving herself & has lost over 30lbs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies over 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is abused enough at home. There's a lot more to people than you think. Put this as your status if you're AGAINST bullying."

I will admit, in middle school, I was a bully, and I’m not proud of it. To go from being bullied in elementary school to being the bully in middle school, it’s not a cool thing. I regret those moments of picking up a small innocent sixth grader and throwing them in a trash can or pushing them up against a wall, to show how tough I really wasn’t. Some people have a hard time picturing me being a bully, but it happened and once again I’m not proud of it.

Maybe you’re reading this and you are being bullied right now. I know the line, “It gets better.” Is used by many political figures and celebrities that have spoken out about this subject. And I’m here to say it does. When the storms of life come, keep holding onto the boat of life, because eventually the storms will have to subside, and you’ll make it safely to the harbor. You won’t be a wave crashed upon the shore. You’ll be safely arriving at the harbor. Don’t give up hope because it surely indeed gets better. Always remember this, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Maybe you’re on the other side of the bullying equation, meaning you are the bully, I know what it’s like to be one. Not saying that I’m taking pride in that, but I am saying, being the one causing harm on someone else, is never cool. You’re not cool when you’re the reason why people go home and think about doing something harmful to themselves or even worse taking their own life. I was listening to a motivational speaker named John Maxwell once, and one of the things he said was, “Hurting people, hurt people.” I encourage you this, if you’re hurting someone else because you are hurting, it also gets better only if you reach out for help.

For the bystanders in this horrible equation, Proverbs 31:8 says, “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed.” That verse perfectly states what you should do. Help the person that you normally wouldn’t have helped.

I appreciate and commend you for hanging in there with this ridiculously long rant that I just went on, but it has been definitely on my mind a lot today. Let’s change the atmosphere in the schools. Whether it’s middle or high school or even college or yes even the workplace. It’s time to be kind to one another and change the world for the good.

Matthew 22:39; Proverbs 31:8

Don't Give Up, There is Victory!

So I am 6 weeks into my second semester of my freshman year of college and for the first few weeks of this semester, it wasn't looking up like I thought it would. Especially in my English Reading 10 class, the professor is far beyond not lenient in every area, well at least she was for the first five weeks. I'll be the first to acknowledge that I am stubborn. It just rubs me the wrong way if I start something and don't eventually finish it. I was not going to drop this class unless my livelihood depended on it and even then it would just annoy me, I don't like quitting. It's just not worth it to me. Anyway, the first five weeks of this class were absolutely brutal. For the first three, the professor just sucked the life out of me, even with two more classes to go, I was very bitter. I hated this class with an absolute passion.

Chi Alpha this semester at Sac City just doesn't fit into my schedule because I have a class during it, well one day my class got out early, just in time to go that day. I went and after the Bible Study I was sitting talking with one of the interns there, telling him about this professor and how much I can't stand her belittlement and her sucking the life out of me. He gave probably the best advice about the situation:

You are smarter than this professor knows thinks that you are. Prove her wrong. Work and study hard. She'll eventually realize that she belittling and picking on the wrong student.

That was in like three weeks ago, so I did. There were many times that I wanted to give up, but my stubborn ways and that advice kept me going. Personal issues came up in the professors life and she was constantly late, and it annoyed the heck out of me. If we couldn't be late, why should we? Well to make a long story short, today, after 5 weeks of frustration, after five weeks of praying, "God, it's getting somewhat easier, but is it really all worth it?" Today, the professor showed up on time, however most of the class wasn't prepared for today. I could see the frustration arising from the professor. I was not one of those people who was not prepared, I was probably more prepared than anyone else in the class. So she'd ask a question and I'd very hesitantly raise my hand and answer the question correctly. You could see the amazement in the professors eyes. As I was leaving class today, the professor said this to me, "Thank you for coming so prepared, I'm glad I now know that what I am teaching is sinking in someones head. Have a great weekend."

You know that epic feeling you get when you finally did something right or finally got it into someones head that you may have two learning disabilities and maybe a little slow most of the time, but you aren't dumb? I think I've officially experienced that for the first time today.

So let me conclude this post with some advice, even when life gets tough, don't give up. You are placed where you are for a reason. I heard this line from someone, "If you're going through a tunnel of hell, don't stop, keep advancing forward because eventually you will have to get to the end of that tunnel."

Keep you're head up, don't give up! That's what I have for you today.

Philippians 4:13

If you don't love the One who loved you before you even knew how love, is it really true love?

I refuse to be not original, so I am not going to say, Happy Valentines Day! I'm sorry, but I just don't have it in me. I personally think that this day was invented for Hallmark to make money. However, that's my personal opinion. Why do we need a day devoted to love, when we should be living a life of love? Okay maybe, just maybe, it's a little bit of bitterness, maybe I'm a bit too opinionated. But at the same time, please don't be stubborn and admit, I have a little bit of truth behind what I am saying. Yeah Jesus is the ultimate and most incredible Valentine, I'm not saying He's not. What I am saying is that this world take Valentine's day a little too seriously. Let me phrase this question: If you only by the love of your life, chocolate, flowers, etc on Valentines day and not any other day to surprise them, are you just going through the motions of love? My mom and stepdad surprise each other on pretty much a daily basis with gifts. My stepdad buys flowers for my mom 99.99% of the time he goes to Costco. Not saying that your love for that special person is fake, if you do only buy them chocolate, flowers, and etc on this day. Here's what I am saying, the world sometimes takes love and basically sugar coats it to be less than it really is.

My prayer on a daily basis since the beginning of this chaotic second semester has this:

"Lord, let this be my prayer. That I live a life of love because You first loved me with this love that is so unconditional. That I live a life of kindness because You first were kind to me. That I live a life of patience because You are paitent with me even when I am undeserving. That I live a life of boldness to impact this world and bring them with me to Your kingdom. That I will live a life fully serving You. In Your Name I pray, Amen!"

Our Papa God first loved us before the foundations of the world, so maybe you're like me today, single. God is there to be your Valentine, this post was nothing saying that He wasn't. This post was supposed to be encouraging, sorry if it wasn't. I just am done with the sterotypical "holiday" when that is the only time that people show love truly. My only prayer is that maybe you can see my heart. I am not against Valentines day or love for another human being, whether it be romantically or just because. I am all for that, in God's timing. But let me conclude this post with this, if you don't love the One who loved you before you even knew how love, is it really true love?

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

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The Impact.

On Saturday night, I watched a movie that just about changed my life. What movie? To Save a Life. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. It's a must see. It was a Christian movie basically telling you to love your neighbor as yourself. As I was watching this movie, I reflected back to my own life, and I realized that even though I can love my neighbor as I do myself. I can take one step further and do something most people my age, wouldn't necessarily do. I take light rail to school and when I am on during the week, so are a lot of business people and I was raised if someone older than you, by at least 5 years, walks into a place where there is seating you stand up and let that person sit down. Normally I do this, but it's not with a good heart. Yesterday as God is continuing to do an incredible work in me, this older gentleman got on the light rail, and it looked like he needed to sit down. So instead of obligation, I free willingly gave up my seat. The gentleman, "You really didn't have to do that for me." Me, "Sir, I totally don't mind, another seat will open up for me." And sure enough, at the next stop, another seat did open up for me. And at the following stop, 15 more seats opened up. I'll be totally candid, I did not want to give up my seat, my feet were killing me, I just wanted to sit down, clear my head before I went home and dived into a whole lot of homework, but I felt that urging in my heart to do so.

What's my point in all of this? It's simple. The act of kindness is a funny thing. Not everyone is naturally good at this, some people have to literally work at this. So my point, what's one seat on light rail or simply one smile as you walk down the street or across your work building or school campus? What's two more seconds at Starbucks or somewhere by just saying, "Have a great day!"? You have no idea the impact on someone's life that you have. You don't know what they're going through, maybe your simple smile or the simple line coming out of your mouth of "Have a great day!" Maybe that will change someone's life. So to you, have a great day!

Mark 12:30-31

The Difference.

No words can even begin to explain what I’ve experienced in the past two weeks. It started on Friday, January 14, 2011. I spent that weekend at the Chi Alpha Winter Conference and it launched me into what already has been a tough semester. By the end of the week, I was so dry. Already? It hadn’t even been a week since the winter conference, I was already sucked dry? Say what? Luckily, we were having special services at my church to fill me back up. I was ecstatic, well for the most part. The meetings went from Saturday morning to Tuesday night. I was pretty bummed that I missed four out of the seven meetings, but what I caught was perfectly enough. From what I heard of Saturday’s woman’s meeting, I was in for a pretty epic roller coaster ride. I walked in Sunday morning, expecting to leave with what I needed. Little did I know, I would literally leave forever changed. I have never heard these two people preach, so I spent the first service observing. What I observed was people leaving the service, healed.



Note: Just literally a week before that, I saw someone walk into the winter conference on crutches and walked out carrying them because he didn’t need them anymore. You cannot tell me that there’s not a God because I’ve seen evidence that He is real and He is working.


So anyway, Monday morning came, and I walked into my English Reading 10 class and I was so ready to take on a week of school, but that particular professor of mine seems to like to suck the life out of me, make me not want to learn. I left that class half empty, which made me then want to not move forward. Monday was just not my day. A lot of tears were shed, but God was and still is doing a work in me that I cannot begin to describe. Monday finally ended and Tuesday arrived. It was a little easier, a little bit more fun. After my five hour photography class, I was in the library, in an intense study session. When I headed to church that evening, I was on empty.


What changed my life in that service though, didn’t really take place until the next night, last night if you’re wondering when, the lady ministering, Ilke Peh, came up prayed for me, I fell down, then getting up was a struggle with the position I was in, two of my younger brothers helped me up and then Ilke grabbed my wrist and said one word three times. That one word was, warrior. I can remember exactly what she said crystal clear, “Warrior, warrior, warrior. Lord, use her to be a warrior after you.” Now I’ve been called a fighter before, but never a warrior. So I decided to look up the two words to get a better feeling of what was prayed over me.


The word fighter means a person with the will, courage, determination, ability, or disposition to fight, struggle, resist, etc.

The word warrior means a person engaged or experienced in warfare; soldier.

(Note: These are just one definition not all of them.)

Last night, I had such a beautiful “aha” moment, because I was thinking about it all day yesterday, it was bugging me. The difference between ‘warrior’ and ‘fighter’. So I looked up the words, and then I felt down in my spirit, “You are a warrior, not a fighter. Yes, you will fight for what is right, but I want you to be more of a warrior than a fighter.”


Tears streaming down my face, something that I will cherish. That I am a warrior more than a fighter. Probably the most intimate time with my Papa God that I’ve ever had. He is doing a work in me that is indescribable, uncontainable, so incredible, undeniable, and I am going to embrace each and every moment of it.

I'm pretty stoked that you read this whole thing. I commend you for that. This was ridiculously long, and you probably have other stuff you could've done in the last four minutes. So to you or someone else who have spent the last four minutes on me and what God is doing in my life, thank you. Because you certainly didn't have too.

Jeremiah 20:11

A Moment of Complete Surrender...

How did you spend your MLK holiday weekend? With friends and/or family? Maybe you slept in or if you started school this week got ready for the spring semester. I spent my 3 day holiday weekend/last 4 days of my Christmas break with my Chi Alpha family. And I was going to do an entry about the whole weekend, but that'd take me until the end of the spring semester to type it all out. (Yes, that was this thing called a joke, you can let all the laughter out.)

However, I feel like I should share an experience I encountered on Sunday morning.

I was fighting a roller coaster ride full of emotions and the enemy filling my head with useless junk, like, "You obviously love your Chi Alpha family, who you've only known since the beginning of October and some for the last month, and some you just met, more than your church family, who you've known for ten years. You're here, not at your home church, you're such a failure." See? Useless junk.

I found myself playing with the jacket tag of someone who I consider a big sister and even a little bit of a mentor during worship. (Look to the right, she's running for Miss California, like the fan page suggest it to your friends, pretty please?) Anyway, they started playing the song, How He Loves and God started to show me what He was doing in my heart, as tears ran down my face, I surrendered my life again to God, I surrendered my semester to Him, and I felt these arms around me, but no one was hugging me. The moment I surrendered and ran back to the arms of my Papa God, was the moment the peace of God fell upon me.

The semester started yesterday and I'll be completely honest, it's already been stressful. I found myself stressing over a class today and then I was brought back to the surrender moment on Sunday morning, and surrendered my life, my situation, my semester to Him. The peace wad brought back to my fists grasp.

I know for college students, the semester has either it's been back in session since the third, started this week, or starts next week, I know it can be stressful, but in the midst of all of that, I encourage you to do what a friend of mine always tells me, spend time with the Lord, seek out His promises, and stay grounded in His word. One of my many goals this semester, I encourage you guys to join me, this includes stressed out high school students as well.

Psalm 71

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A Small Solution.

I've noticed a lot recently that there's a lot of heartache and rejection in the world. I guess I've always knew it was there, but I never really thought about it until recently. Until something in my life and in my heart changed. I'm not led to share what that is yet, still sorting through a roller coaster ride of emotions at the moment.

I think the solution to all the heartache and rejection in the world is a lot more complicated than it's shown on the surface, but a few weeks ago, my pastor said it perfectly.

"I have the complete confidence in knowing that in the Father's arms, I will not be rejected or get my heart broken."

For the past week, as I stumbled across this interesting mountain that life just threw at me, I found myself needing to be in the arms of my Papa God. Crying into His chest persay. And He's the one who walked in, when it felt like the whole world walked out on me.

If I've learned anything from this interesting mountain already, it's that in the reality of it all, relying on an imperfect human being to always be there for you only results in heartache. Trying to hard to get an imperfect human beings love and attention only results in rejection. However, relying on our Papa God to always be there for you, leads to pure satisfaction and comfort and you don't have to try to hard to get our Papa God's love and attention because whether you want it or not, you've got it because He created you and longs to be with you.

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