A Change Working in Me.

Some things in my life need to change and by some things, I mean everything! I've come to the realization that failure, is not a good thing. I recently downloaded the YouVersion application to my phone. Mainly it gives me something positive to read on my way to school. So today, I flipped out my phone, and was reading a verse in 2 Corinthians 13:5, I read it in the Message version, mainly so I could understand it and it brought a whole new light to everything I'm going through. It says:

"Test yourselves to make sure you are solid in the faith. Don’t drift along taking everything for granted. Give yourselves regular checkups. You need firsthand evidence, not mere hearsay, that Jesus Christ is in you. Test it out. If you fail the test, do something about it."

So basically in a nutshell I needed to read that, I don't even remember how I got there, all I remember was reading it. I read it after learning that I basically failed my third English test and took my business law exam. I felt basically like a complete and total failure. I was on the verdge of beating myself up, but then I remember what someone in my life told me to do when I got to that point. She told me to make a concious effort to not beat myself up. So today I did so. I made that concious effort to not beat myself up, I pulled my phone out again and read that verse that I mentioned above. My hands are shaking, they have been since, I read it for the second time. God is amazing and is working things out in my life, and I am excited for what is to come.

Who am I, Even When the Tests and Trials Hit?

I going through a period of change, transition, and a little bit of searching with God. Everything in my life seems to be changing some for the good and some for the not so good. I am transitioning back to actually leaving the house for school. The 5am alarm clock couldn't go off any earlier most mornings, then as I drag myself to my 8am class, I always ask God if this is the right way to go. I feel like I am skating on really thin ice and I am going to collapse at any moment. Everything is changing. From school to my internship to my youth group. My brother said to me the other day,"Well, change is good sometimes..." That coming out of my younger brother mouth just about shocked me. Then I started thinking, I need to search God's Word, if it really is a book to help you through every trial in life, then it can help me with all the change going down in life right now. I was laying in bed last night just thinking about this change in life and this thought occurred to me, "Maybe that line, 'there's a reason for everything' actually is true. Maybe God's trying to show me not only who I am when things are good, but who I am when my whole world's falling apart." I was blown away, I tossed in turned hoping to feel like I didn't think that. Then throughout today the thought came back. "God is probably trying to teach me not only who I am when every thing's good, but who I am when every thing's bad." I tried to ignore it, I tried to say I didn't think that, but I did. I could go on, but I want to come back and read my blog, so I won't bore you. I'll definitely break this down in entries to come. So I leave you with a piece of advice and a question:

Question:
Who are you not only when things are good, but when everything in your world's falling apart?

The piece of advice is actually is a verse from the Bible:
"But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior;

so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail.
They will fail and be thoroughly disgraced;
their dishonor will never be forgotten." -Jeremiah 20:11 (NIV)